It was hard for me to use this image for today. That is exactly why I had to post it. Life is like that.
I spent the day with my Grandma. She fell a few weeks ago and broke her pelvis so she's been bedridden. At 100 years old we're not sure what the prognosis is for recovery. Her children have been giving her the round-the-clock attention she needs. I felt a great need to help. I have been very close to my grandma and I love spending time with her. Plus, I am so grateful that God has granted me the incredible blessing of having a job that allows me the flexibility to serve when others wouldn't be able to. I would be selfish if I didn't follow through when service opportunities are presented. So I spent the day feeding her, rubbing her back, fighting the 90 degree heat and chatting about life and death.
It was absolutely wonderful.
No mistake, it's hard seeing her body broken and failing, but her spirit is active, alive, and acute.
If you have any doubt about how important humility is in the grand scheme of things you needn't look further than old age. It is difficult to be prideful and haughty when someone must feed you and change you. No matter how independent you used to be (She still lives alone at 100) you have no choice but to allow others to serve you. I can only imagine how humbling that must be.
In trying to find something that would occupy her time I read her a talk from the LDS General Conference. It is a talk about the power of patience and not just making it to the end of a trial but enduring well with faith and joy. Every time I thought she'd fallen asleep she would stop me and ask me to repeat a phrase or she'd mention how profound a particular statement had been. I finished the talk with tears in my eyes as she pronounced that it must be that she still needs to learn patience and to endure with joy her current trials. That is why the Lord has not seen fit to take her. I suspect that it's because her loved ones need her continual example and the opportunities to serve her in order to develop virtue in ourselves.
The powerful thing about devoting yourself to other people is that you walk away empowered and uplifted.
This photo shows more than my dying Grandmother in an uncomfortable sleep. It reminds me that photographs can be a powerful reminder of grace and faith in trial. It reminds me that life moves forward whether I want it to or not. It is a symbol that love is more than enjoying someone's company when all is well, it means also being there to feed them carrot juice and tell them how much they mean to you.
I love you Grandma.
